prayers.reflections.light bulb moments.

Reflection on Luke 10:38-42* | Feast of St. Scholastica

We know very well this story of two sisters with different temperaments. Martha is described as the busy one. She busied herself serving and attending to the needs of Jesus and his disciples. In fact, she became too busy and distracted that she started complaining about her sister, Mary. Mary, on the other hand is too relaxed, sits comfortably at Jesus’ feet and listening to Him. We can say that both of the sisters have the good intention of serving Jesus, but Jesus affirmed that Mary has chosen the better part.

As I contemplate this scene, I was struck most at the image of Mary sitting at the Jesus’ feet, listening to Him attentively. It struck me because personally, I felt that this is the same invitation for me and perhaps it’s an invitation for you too, my brothers, during this time of ‘waiting’. This is the invitation to stay close to Jesus as Mary did. Mary knew that what Jesus most wanted at that moment was her attentive presence. So that when Jesus needs something, she can respond to Him immediately. Like Mary, we are invited to choose to stay close to Jesus and to listen to Him more intently than ever– so we can better respond to Him.

Now that all of us have gone trough the interviews and psychological exams for our application to the novitiate, we are invited to stay close to Jesus. After busying and giving much of ourselves to the process of application, we are invited to choose the better part of staying close to Him, rather than allowing the distractions of fear, impatience and restlessness distract us. The Lord bids us to entrust to him our concerns and anxieties because he is trustworthy and we are invited to choose this better part.

In my own personal experience of this waiting, I can describe the experience closest to the state of vulnerability. It is an experience of helplessness, of lack of control…a free fall. And yet, deep within  is a conviction that the Lord is faithful – that in and through all of these experience of grappling with uncertainty, he remains and will always remain with me. It is more of an issue of me remaining in Him.  This feeling of vulnerability is an invitation to remain close to Him. We are invited to choose to remain in Him even if it is coupled with discomfort towards the lack of clarity and uncertainty. We are invited to choose to remain in Him even if things won’t go our way ad even if it means getting hurt in the process. I guess this is what it means to be indifferent: we present to God our deepest longings and desires and yet we let Him take control, to take charge and to do His will by His good pleasure. I think Fr. Arrupe most fittingly described in his own words this vulnerability that we are being invited to, something we can also own and reflect about. In his last prayer, he said. More than ever I find myself in the hands of God. This is what I have wanted all my life from my youth. But now there is a difference; the initiative is entirely with God. It is indeed a profound spiritual experience to know and feel myself so totally in God’s hands.

Dear brothers, let this be our prayer too: that we may be totally vulnerable in the hands of God – who is trustworthy and most loving. Let us pray that he may give us the grace to stay close to Him, to teach us to remain in Him, that he may push towards greater trust, confidence and love, that we may be held tight and close in His arms of love. Amen. - TJ Sunga

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam!

* Gospel reading for the Solemnity of St. Scholastica

Reflection on Mark 3:13-19

It is interesting to take note that when Jesus performs a solemn act, he does it on top of a mountain, like the sermon of the mount. When he prays, the evangelists would tell us that he goes up to the mountain as well. In today’s gospel, we hear of how Jesus appointed the first of His disciple, yes, on a familiar setting – on top of a mountain. Of all places, why on top of a mountain? Is it maybe because it’s nearer the heavens, or perhaps of the ambiance? For the Israelites, the mountains is the dwelling place of God, maybe that’s another reason. The truth is, I really don’t know the answer to my question, but what I can assure you is that going up the mountain is not easy. Especially when what is ahead is not only steep, but bumpy and rocky road as well. So I can imagine when Jesus invited his followers, to go up that mountain– I would never doubt that maybe not all of them came to respond to His invitation.

If you come to think of it, aren’t our experiences of responding to God’s is following Christ up to a mountain? In my own experience, one such mountain I have to hurdle is my deferment and being sent to Haggerty House.

I will always remember the day I arrived at the Cagayan de Oro domestic airport almost two years ago. I was with Fr. Xave, who was the newly appointed vocations director back then. It was a fine, sunny day, but I have never felt so anxious in my life. It was only more than an hour flight, but hundreds of miles away from home. Fr. Xave must have noticed my pale, scared face that he was always constant in reassuring me that I would enjoy CDO as much as he did when he was a regent, and that I’d be in good hands with Bro. Joel Liwanag, SJ as my director. The first month of my stay in Haggerty House was a period of adjustment. Adjustment to the new environment, people, language, food – practically with everything and most of all with the job I never ever thought of doing – teaching. But later on, if there was0 one thing that I truly realized in my life in CDO, it was that God is indeed faithful. And that He never abandons us. That as I slowly crawl my way on top of the mountain called Haggerty; he was with me, through the bumpy and sharp edged trail.

Now as I climb up to another mountain with you here in Arvisu House, I keep this truth in mind. That the Lord never forgets, never abandons, and is with me, with us, always in this journey. Arvisu House may have led us to the steep way towards self-understanding and through the challenging and rough roads towards surrendering and entrusting, but together we dare to take the risk. Like the first disciple, we take the risk of following Christ up to the mountain because we know that it will lead us to our heart’s deepest desire of taking heed of his call. Perhaps if there is one common thread that binds our experiences together, it is this experience of desiring to respond to His call. The thought that we are not alone in this journey should console us. We have companions with one another, and best of all we have Someone above as guide.

Why on top of the mountain? You can imagine the scene: Jesus, together with the disciples, who perhaps anxiously and excitedly waiting for His announcement. Isn’t it cheesy? Imagine Him saying, I send you on a mission – proclaim the gospel, heal the sick, drive out evil spirits, proclaim the Kingdom of God… Then it struck me. Maybe Jesus chose to do it at the top of a mountain, because it puts one to a vantage point. Because at the top of a mountain one can see the other mountains that a true follower of Christ must conquer. Maybe this can give us second thoughts. Maybe it can make us feel uneasy, but we know that the Lord will be with us always. That He is true to His word of promise, “Do not be afraid, I am with you”.

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam!

-TJ Sunga

Reflection on Luke 21: 12-19

Our Lord Jesus Christ in today’s gospel once again reminds us that following Him is not be easy. He is practically very much clear about this – even giving us a straight-forward and honest description of the cost of discipleship in today’s reading.

Following Christ means, embracing the cross. It means one must face the danger, persecution and threats that come along the package of following and doing the will of the Master. No wonder, Christ has very few followers during his time. Indeed, his invitation was neither for the faint-hearted, nor for people who are not dedicated or crazy enough to follow Him. But as I was reflecting over this gospel passage, I realized that Jesus’ message, more than giving emphasis on the cost of discipleship, really is about God’s fidelity towards those who follow Him.

Though following Jesus is not easy, we are reminded that it is not a solitary endeavor. We are reminded that Lord remembers those who follow his footsteps. He will be with us in carrying the cross.
Our life here in Arvisu can attest to this. Though we don’t face persecution and imprisonment [because of following Christ] like the early Christians did, we too, experience persecution in different ways. Here in Arvisu House we are led to face the many things which prevent us from fully following Christ; our attachments, our tendencies, our exaggerations, weaknesses, limitations and sinfulness. And it takes much courage to do this. At times it can be heavy, pressing upon our shoulders like a cross. This journey towards seeking the Lord’s Will can be compared to entering a labyrinth, entering a complex, unclear road of many twist and turns. Sometimes it can lead us to dark, cold and damp places within us, part of ourselves that we are not proud of. Parts of ourselves, that persecute our very self and others, preventing us from fully responding to Him who calls us. But nonetheless, we muster our courage because we believe that at the end of the road, we know we are doing the Master’s will.

Today’s gospel should console us. Christ is with us, as a companion in our journey, through harsh, buffeting winds and bumpy, rocky roads towards His kingdom. Thus, we dare to believe and continue to take the path to discipleship because of this. I believe that this truth, that Christ is our companion, also fueled the hearts of many faithful men and women who heard the same call, to offer their lives, some even at the face of persecution and pain and death to follow Him. Him, who constantly reminds us “Do not be afraid”. We dare to follow Him, who remembers us always, even if a lot of times we don’t remember His abiding presence. We dare to follow Him, whom we know will never abandon us and promised to be with us until the end of time.

Let us pray then, dear brothers, that we may be led to a deeper confidence, love and courage to follow Him. The road ahead, indeed, may be unclear and fear may cripple in, but let us always remember that we have Jesus, as our faithful companion in the journey. Amen.

Salamat Panginoon,

sapagkat minahal mo ako

Sapagkat ako ay ako.

’Di dahil sa aking sariling kabutihan,

o sa pagnanasa kong Ika’y mapaglingkuran

Kundi dahil sa ako ay ako

Ako na ikaw mismo ang lumikha.

’Di dahil sa aking sariling lakas,

O sa  pagnanasang masundan ang ang iyong mga yapak

Kundi dahil sa ako ay ako,

Ako na mahal mo.

Sa kabila ng mga tangkang pag-sisikap na maging karapat-dapat

Tila sa iyo’y di na ’to nararapat

Sapagkat ako’y mahal mo,

Sapagkat ako ay ako,

Ako na sa palad mo inilapat.

Feast of St. Matthew | 21 September 2009
Matthew 9:9-13

Let me begin my reflection this morning by sharing with you, a different kind of litany of the saints. This is something I share with the Second Year HS student at the Ateneo for their recollection. It was a video entitled, the March of the Unqualified and today since I cannot share with you the video, allow me at least to share the content of it. It goes…

Moses was not a great speaker
Jonah ran from God
Jacob was a liar
Noah got drunk
Rahab was a prostitute
David had an affair
Jeremiah was depressed, a lot
Solomon was rich in wisdom, but poor in lifestyle
John the Baptist was just plain poor
Timothy was too young,
Timothy was too old,
Lazarus, was dead
Sarah was barren
Naomie was a widow
Gideon and Thomas both doubted, so did Sarah
Peter lacks self-control
James and John were self-righteous
Paul had a short fuse, well so did Peter and Moses…actually lots old people did.
God’s army isn’t perfect, it never has been. It’s the march of the unqualified.

Dear brothers, the saint whose feast we celebrate today definitely fits in the litany of saints I shared with you earlier – Matthew, the tax collector. We know how the tax collectors in Jesus’ time suffer the stigma of being despised and tagged as sinners in their community. Therefore, it is not surprising to know that the Pharisees and their disciples questioned why Jesus mingles with stinking sinners!

I like best Caravaggio’s portrayal of this scene from the gospel with his painting, “The Calling of Matthew. In his painting Matthew was seated at a table with his four assistants, counting the day’s proceeds. The group was lighted from a source at the upper right of the painting, seeming to be coming from Christ. Jesus with a gesture in his hands, summons Levi. Surprised by the intrusion and perhaps dazzled by the sudden light from the just-opened door, Levi draws back and gestures toward himself with his left hand as if to say, “Who, me?”, his right hand remaining on the coin he had been counting before Christ’s entrance.

Like Matthew, don’t we ask and wonder why we have been called here in this house when we clearly know who we are? Like Matthew don’t we know that we are ‘unworthy’, have lots of limitations, inadequacies, exaggerations and sinfulness? And yet when we encountered Christ in our lives, when we experience his light in our lives, deep in our very hearts, we feel we are all invited to come and follow him. Yes, even with our pimples, scars, and all.

Matthew’s experience should console us that God indeed calls us, no matter how unworthy and unqualified we may be. Like Jesus affirmed, I did not come to call the righteous but sinners. Matthew knew He is a stinking sinner! Yet, I imagine Jesus, giving him a wink and telling him, “You sure do stink, but yes, believe it or not, I am calling you and I wanted you to be part of my team!” It is something to rejoice about! It is something that should console us all. According to Luke’s version of this account, Levi having received this loving invitation from the Lord he rejoiced! He even gave a banquet!

Dear friends it is a beautiful image of God worth reflecting on, especially for all of us. That God calls us and comes to us even in our unworthiness and sinfulness. God, in the course of history called the ‘unqualified’ and the ‘imperfect’ to be part of his army. God can work wonders, even in our human weaknesses and limitations if we just let Him take charge of our lives. God meets us where we are. God’s love us just the way we are.