silent steps*

The Cost of Discpleship

Silent Steps — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 06:45:48 +0000

Reflection on Luke 21: 12-19

Our Lord Jesus Christ in today’s gospel once again reminds us that following Him is not be easy. He is practically very much clear about this – even giving us a straight-forward and honest description of the cost of discipleship in today’s reading.

Following Christ means, embracing the cross. It means one must face the danger, persecution and threats that come along the package of following and doing the will of the Master. No wonder, Christ has very few followers during his time. Indeed, his invitation was neither for the faint-hearted, nor for people who are not dedicated or crazy enough to follow Him. But as I was reflecting over this gospel passage, I realized that Jesus’ message, more than giving emphasis on the cost of discipleship, really is about God’s fidelity towards those who follow Him.

Though following Jesus is not easy, we are reminded that it is not a solitary endeavor. We are reminded that Lord remembers those who follow his footsteps. He will be with us in carrying the cross.
Our life here in Arvisu can attest to this. Though we don’t face persecution and imprisonment [because of following Christ] like the early Christians did, we too, experience persecution in different ways. Here in Arvisu House we are led to face the many things which prevent us from fully following Christ; our attachments, our tendencies, our exaggerations, weaknesses, limitations and sinfulness. And it takes much courage to do this. At times it can be heavy, pressing upon our shoulders like a cross. This journey towards seeking the Lord’s Will can be compared to entering a labyrinth, entering a complex, unclear road of many twist and turns. Sometimes it can lead us to dark, cold and damp places within us, part of ourselves that we are not proud of. Parts of ourselves, that persecute our very self and others, preventing us from fully responding to Him who calls us. But nonetheless, we muster our courage because we believe that at the end of the road, we know we are doing the Master’s will.

Today’s gospel should console us. Christ is with us, as a companion in our journey, through harsh, buffeting winds and bumpy, rocky roads towards His kingdom. Thus, we dare to believe and continue to take the path to discipleship because of this. I believe that this truth, that Christ is our companion, also fueled the hearts of many faithful men and women who heard the same call, to offer their lives, some even at the face of persecution and pain and death to follow Him. Him, who constantly reminds us “Do not be afraid”. We dare to follow Him, who remembers us always, even if a lot of times we don’t remember His abiding presence. We dare to follow Him, whom we know will never abandon us and promised to be with us until the end of time.

Let us pray then, dear brothers, that we may be led to a deeper confidence, love and courage to follow Him. The road ahead, indeed, may be unclear and fear may cripple in, but let us always remember that we have Jesus, as our faithful companion in the journey. Amen.

The Kingdom in Our Midst

Silent Steps — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 03:07:34 +0000

Reflection on Luke 17:20-25

“The kingdom of God does not come with your careful observation, nor will people say, ‘Here it is,’ or ‘There it is,’ because the kingdom of God is within you”

Dear Lord,

As I try to reflect your Word today, I was struck by the Pharisees’ question to You. When does Your kingdom really come? It is a question longing to know when this kingdom of Yours will reign, a kingdom where your love, justice and peace abound. It is a question desiring to know when You will finally intervene and put all things in order. I realized too that today, 2000+ years have come to pass and we still ask the same question over and over again. Sadly for some when they think about the coming of Your kingdom, they think about the doomsday – the end of the world. In fact, tomorrow is the premier of the movie 2012, a movie about the Mayan prophecy that the world will end come December 21, 2012. I’ve seen the trailer and it is really scary. Nonetheless, I think movies such as this just show how much your people desire to know when and how your Kingdom will come.

But I was even more surprised by Your answer that Your kingdom is among us already! That if we only look closely, we will see that your Kingdom is already reigning in this world. Perhaps, the Pharisees did not understand your response to them. Perhaps they even got disappointed with you. Perhaps they did not take you seriously. But I cannot blame them if they feel that way. Perhaps deep inside them they ask, if God’s kingdom is truly among us, why do You allow so much suffering in this world. Where is the peace, justice and mercy that they have so longed for to reign. Why do You seem to be too quiet, in the midst of this chaotic world. Our contemporaries having the same questions in mind are pushed toward more drastic questions like, do You really exist? Sadly, some even go as far as claiming that You are dead.

Lord, reflecting over these questions I was led back to Fr. Manoling Farnsisco’s sharing to us after the devastation of typhoon Ondoy. During that time, Fr. Manoling said that a lot of people are asking, how can God let all of these happen? Where can we find God in all of these painful events? Fr. Manoling said that at times when we are confronted by such questions, we must always remember that You Lord, are God Incarnate. That You share the mess and mud of our human experience, so that there is nothing in our human experience that you do not share or is foreign to you. You are the Emmanuel; God who is with us and promises to be with us always, so that even in our deepest longings, questionings, pain and suffering, You are there.

But the way towards trust and faith is narrow Lord, and the way towards doubt and mistrust, too wide. So we ask you to help our little faith. Keep our eyes bright to always see that Your kingdom is already at hand, reigning in this world. Help us to become effective promoters of this kingdom of Yours in every little way we can. Even if sometimes, we are also led into our own doubts and questionings. Help us to trust and keep the faith in you and always make us remember that in your infinite wisdom and goodness, You make things happen. Help us set aside our own doubts and encourage others to trust and keep the faith in You. Give us the audacity to dare to believe and to celebrate the reign of Your kingdom in this world. Amen.

Pasasalamat

Silent Steps — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 06:26:56 +0000

Salamat Panginoon,

sapagkat minahal mo ako

Sapagkat ako ay ako.

’Di dahil sa aking sariling kabutihan,

o sa pagnanasa kong Ika’y mapaglingkuran

Kundi dahil sa ako ay ako

Ako na ikaw mismo ang lumikha.

’Di dahil sa aking sariling lakas,

Ni sa pagnanasang masundan ang ang iyong mga yapak

Kundi dahil sa ako ay ako,

Ako na mahal mo.

Sa kabila ng mga tangkang pag-sisikap na maging karapat-dapat

Tila sa iyo’y di na ’to nararapat

Sapagkat ako’y mahal mo,

Sapagkat ako ay ako,

Ako na sa palad mo inilapat.

Running Away

Silent Steps — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 06:51:26 +0000

Reflection on Jonah 1: 1-16 – 2: 1-2, 11

Don’t we all have experiences of running away from God like Jonah?

A few days ago, a friend texted me, telling me that she wanted to talk because she feels so far away from God. Perhaps, of all the people around she asked me for an advice because she thinks that I am closer to God, because I’m a Prenovice. Personally, I feel uncomfortable sharing spiritual advice to other people, knowing that I’m a spiritual baby myself. So I just share

d whatever I could share with her.

Her questions led me to reflect on my own life and my relationship with God. Though it is true that here in Arvisu we’re given time to pray, we receive the sacraments regularly and learn our catechism, there were moments, that I still find myself feeling that I am far-away from God. And when I look back at my life, I realized that there were many moments, like Jona

h, that I turned away from God. Because of the bad choices I made, my sinfulness andlack of faith.

If we look into the bible, it is not only Jonah who tried to run away from God. The closest to my heart and is known to all of us, is the story of the prodigal son, who amidst all the goodness of the father to him, asked for his inheritance and left home to live a debauched life.

In my life, I’ve asked many times why do I run away from God. Why do I run from Him who has been so good and gracious to me and has given me life?

One day, I was praying with a feeling of being so far away from the Lord, because of sin. But deep in my heart, I feel the

Lord is always ready to accept me and forgive me no matter what. I’ve always known him as the merciful and loving Father. But this time, feeling so impatient with myself and feeling undeserving of this grace, I askedHim, why Lord? How can you let me turn away from you? Can’t you just take me out of this struggle and intervene that I might forever be united with you? Then it hit me like a tidal wave. The mystery is this: that I am loved so much by the Lord that he gives me even the freedom to

turn away from Him. Like letting Jonah escape. Like letting the prodigal son leave home. But one thing remains true, that the Lord is ready to accept me when I get back to my own senses to do his will. Like Jonah, who needs to be thrown out of the sea and get swallowed by a fish before obeying the Lords will to give His message to the people of Nineveh. He will always be patient with me and will be waiting, ever ready to receive me back again in His arms when I return, like the homecoming of

the prodigal son.

In the Gospel when a growing opposition came to Jesus, he asked his apostle “Will you also go?” He doesn’t demand that they stay, He will surely understand if they won’t. And Peter, answered, “Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and convinced that you are the Messiah.”

God’s love and mercy endures, even if we turn away from Him. It is so great a love beyond our understa

nding, but holds true in our life of faith. Like the psalmist expressed in his beautiful wondering… how can I escape from your love Lord? If climb to the heavens you are there, even to the sunrise or beyond the sea, I still find you there.

So let us come before the merciful Lord, remembering the many times that we have veered away from him and the many times too that the Lord welcomed us in his loving arms. Let us thank him for his great unconditional love for all of us.

The Unqualified

Silent Steps — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 06:59:03 +0000

Feast of St. Matthew | 21 September 2009
Matthew 9:9-13

Let me begin my reflection this morning by sharing with you, a different kind of litany of the saints. This is something I share with the Second Year HS student at the Ateneo for their recollection. It was a video entitled, the March of the Unqualified and today since I cannot share with you the video, allow me at least to share the content of it. It goes…

Moses was not a great speaker
Jonah ran from God
Jacob was a liar
Noah got drunk
Rahab was a prostitute
David had an affair
Jeremiah was depressed, a lot
Solomon was rich in wisdom, but poor in lifestyle
John the Baptist was just plain poor
Timothy was too young,
Timothy was too old,
Lazarus, was dead
Sarah was barren
Naomie was a widow
Gideon and Thomas both doubted, so did Sarah
Peter lacks self-control
James and John were self-righteous
Paul had a short fuse, well so did Peter and Moses…actually lots old people did.
God’s army isn’t perfect, it never has been. It’s the march of the unqualified.

Dear brothers, the saint whose feast we celebrate today definitely fits in the litany of saints I shared with you earlier – Matthew, the tax collector. We know how the tax collectors in Jesus’ time suffer the stigma of being despised and tagged as sinners in their community. Therefore, it is not surprising to know that the Pharisees and their disciples questioned why Jesus mingles with stinking sinners!

I like best Caravaggio’s portrayal of this scene from the gospel with his painting, “The Calling of Matthew. In his painting Matthew was seated at a table with his four assistants, counting the day’s proceeds. The group was lighted from a source at the upper right of the painting, seeming to be coming from Christ. Jesus with a gesture in his hands, summons Levi. Surprised by the intrusion and perhaps dazzled by the sudden light from the just-opened door, Levi draws back and gestures toward himself with his left hand as if to say, “Who, me?”, his right hand remaining on the coin he had been counting before Christ’s entrance.

Like Matthew, don’t we ask and wonder why we have been called here in this house when we clearly know who we are? Like Matthew don’t we know that we are ‘unworthy’, have lots of limitations, inadequacies, exaggerations and sinfulness? And yet when we encountered Christ in our lives, when we experience his light in our lives, deep in our very hearts, we feel we are all invited to come and follow him. Yes, even with our pimples, scars, and all.

Matthew’s experience should console us that God indeed calls us, no matter how unworthy and unqualified we may be. Like Jesus affirmed, I did not come to call the righteous but sinners. Matthew knew He is a stinking sinner! Yet, I imagine Jesus, giving him a wink and telling him, “You sure do stink, but yes, believe it or not, I am calling you and I wanted you to be part of my team!” It is something to rejoice about! It is something that should console us all. According to Luke’s version of this account, Levi having received this loving invitation from the Lord he rejoiced! He even gave a banquet!

Dear friends it is a beautiful image of God worth reflecting on, especially for all of us. That God calls us and comes to us even in our unworthiness and sinfulness. God, in the course of history called the ‘unqualified’ and the ‘imperfect’ to be part of his army. God can work wonders, even in our human weaknesses and limitations if we just let Him take charge of our lives. God meets us where we are. God’s love us just the way we are.

We too have withered hands

Silent Steps — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 07:50:41 +0000

Reflection on Lk 6:6-11

He looked around at them all, and then said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He did so, and his hand was completely restored. But they were furious and began to discuss with one another what they might do to Jesus.

In today’s gospel we hear of the story of the healing of man with a withered hand. This paralysis is a condition in which the muscles are shrunken and the limb is shorter than it should properly be. Thus, the man’s right hand is lifeless, weak, of no use.

As I tried to reflect and see the relevance of this story in my life, I realized that the withered hand represents my own share of human defect and imperfection. It represents my own limitations and weaknesses.

When I was here in Arvisu the first time, knowing very well that I have ‘withered hands’, I was confronted with a feeling of being unqualified to become a Jesuit. I was worried that I might not be able to contribute anything to the Society, if ever I become a Jesuit. Besides I am an average guy, young, inexperienced and insecure to the core. I shared this with my IC director, Fr. Robbie Sian, and I would always remember his answer to my bothering questions. He said that if God is calling me to this way of life, he will take care of everything. Even with my own sense of being unqualified and unworthiness, the Lord will take care of everything. Dahil siya ang tumawag, Siya ang bahala. He asked me then, to focus and do not let such pre-occupation get in the way of my discernment.

Perhaps like most of you, sometimes, I still find myself being confronted with my own sense of unworthiness. My almost two years in the prenovitiate helped me to get to know myself and part of it is to know and experience how ‘withered’ I am as a person. I experience how ‘withered’ I am when I fall again and again to my bad habits and habitual sins; when I hurt myself and others through my words and actions; when I fall short of my own expectations and of others; when I am confronted with issues – my pains and struggles. I believe all of, in one way or another; have our own share of withered hands.

Going back to the Gospel story, it is good to take note how Christ healed the man. Not much drama, unlike other accounts of His healings. He said plainly to the man, “Stretch out your hand”, and his hand was restored. When we stretch our hands, doesn’t it usually mean to reach out to something? I believe Jesus wanted us to reach out to him so that he can restore the withered part of our lives. It is also good to take note that the initiative came from Jesus himself. The man, never even begged for healing and perhaps not even expecting Christ to notice him, but He did.

The gospel story today, gives much emphasis too on how the Lord wanted us to reach out to Him and to enable Him to transform our lives. Not even the distractions and the death threats of the Pharisees prevented him from healing the man with a withered hand. And it is ironic, that when we look at the Christ crucified, He too had withered hands, nailed on the cross not because of his weaknesses and limitations but because of His great love for us. It is comforting to know that the Lord is always willing and ready to heal us and to reach for us.

Friends, today we are all invited to reach out to God and present to him our very own withered hands. He is inviting us to respond, to be willing enough to stretch out our hands and to reach for him. It is good to reflect, what part of our lives needed healing and restoration? Let us pray that the Lord may continue to give us the courage, hope and greater trust to stretch-out our ‘withered hands’ to the Lord as we continue our discernment here in Arvisu. Let us pray that the Lord may transform our withered lives so that we may be able to love and serve Him as He wills it. Amen.

Photo Above: Old Talaandig Man, Miarayon, Bukidnon

Come and See

Silent Steps — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 06:58:23 +0000

Reflection on John 1: 45-51, Feast of St. Bartholomew

Today we celebrate the feast day of St. Bartholomew. According to bible scholars, he was the same person whose story we heard in today’s reading from the gospel of John, Nathanael. In the synoptic gospels, Nathanael’s name was not included in the list of Jesus’ twelve disciples. Instead Bartholomew is listed among the twelve, along with Philip.

While reflecting over this gospel passage I can’t help but to become curious of what really happened under the fig tree. It is clearly an incident or an event, known only to Jesus and Nathanael. As I tried to reflect more on the passage, I am left clueless and I realize that I can only guess. Perhaps it might have been a profound experience for Nathanael. I get the feeling that, perhaps, it was very personal, intimate experience of God during one solitary prayer, most probably under a fig tree. Maybe it was during this experience that Nathaniel first heard the call of God.

Possibly it made him feel good and excited with the idea, though the idea is so good to be true. Along with it, perhaps, are questions and doubts about ‘the calling’. Perhaps he may also have asked, how can an ordinary guy like him be a disciple of the Messiah? It seems to be a far away dream. He wasn’t sold out with the idea that is why when Philip said to him one day, “We have found the Messiah! It was Jesus of Nazareth” he replied with a sly humor, “Nazareth! Can anything good come from there?” He never took it seriously – but perhaps, deep within him, there is a great of hope, that it may be really true. But when he came to see Jesus, everything became clear to him. Nathanael indeed has come to see the Lord whom he seeks to follow. Thus, he followed Jesus, and everything else is history.

Isn’t it true that all of us have our very own experience under the fig tree? An experience when you felt a deep connection between you and your creator? An experience when you felt God’s gentle love and invitation? It can be a profound experience you felt once, while looking at the sunset in the horizon. It can be an experience of God while beaming at the stars during one solitary night. It may also be during one bus or jeepney ride, when you, amidst the hassle and bustle of the city life, felt God’s invitation. Or perhaps it was during one solemn moment during a retreat, praying in solitude, that you experienced Him, so real and so present in your life. In one way or another, God makes His way to us, to invite us and make his presence real to us like what he did to Nathanael.

We know that it starts with an idea or far-fetched dream. Sometimes we may even think of it even as a cosmic joke, or worst hallucination. But we are left wondering why this idea of following the Lord, though unclear and unsure, gives us much peace. It excites us, it makes us smile, and it inspires us even and gives us joy. But then, we sometimes think that this ‘calling’ is so good to be true, thus we tried to avoid it. We try to shrug it off. Then it makes us restless. It leads us to ask questions we never dare to ask and we are led to look for deeper meaning. We wanted to come and see what this calling, vocation, mission, dream, purpose or whatever you may call it that we seek, is really all about. I think in the very core of our Christian vocation, God leads us to such situations, where we are invited to ‘come and see’. We are people intrinsically drawn to our purpose, for a deeper meaning in life. That is why we are here in Arvisu House to come and see wherever the Lord wants us to be – to know His will.

Like Nathanael, we are led and invited in this house to have a close encounter of the Lord and to allow him to reveal to us the meanings and answers to our very own fig tree experiences. Arvisu House is an experience of coming and seeing. It may still be unclear, and there may be times that we still doubt if our own fig tree incident really did happen, but one thing is for sure, the last three months of our stay in Arvisu led us to a deeper relationship with the Lord. And everyday, in our community life, in our prayer and silence, we are led to new fig tree experiences. We dare to believe and with great hope that the Lord listens and sees us in our prayer. The Lord is with us in our daily struggles, with our own issues, with our life in the community, work and studies.

Dear Brothers, today I invite you to go back to your own fig tree experiences and see how the Lord revealed and continuously reveals himself to you. In our continued search for the meaning of our ‘calling’, may we always be led to a closer encounter with Caller. May we all have greater hope each day as we anticipate and open ourselves to whatever the Lord may reveal to us in our life of discernment. Let us also thank the Lord and pray for the many people instrumental in bringing us closer to the Lord, like Philip did to Nathanael. Amen.

Saint Bartholomew, Pray for Us!

Picture Above: A Lumad Boy from Cabanglasan, Bukidnon

For Mary

Silent Steps — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 03:37:02 +0000

15 August, 2009 | Feast of the Assumption
Reflection on Luke 1: 39-56

Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with you!
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus!
Holy Mary mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death, Amen.

Perhaps, like most of you, this one of the first prayers thought to me by my elders. Ima, my grandmother, thought me to pray the rosary when I was 6 years old. I remember how proud I am the first time I was able to lead the family rosary, though honestly, I never really knew what it meant. Soon, it became less interesting and would describe it in three words. Long, boring and repetitive. But as I grow older and wiser, I realized that this long, boring and repetitive prayer became an essential part of my life as a young Catholic.

I constantly have a rosary in my pocket. When I went to college, the rosary is my constant companion during the times when I feel alone or when I struggle to keep a balance, juggling work and studies. When I started working, Mary is my constant companion too during the daily commutes – of many buses, train and jeepney rides, helping me see the metro traffic much more meaningful way and make it a little bearable. I don’t why, but it always gives me peace and hope. Perhaps it is the maternal figure that made me relate much to her. During my first discernment retreat in 2006, Mary was also a consoling companion as for the first time, I seriously thought of responding to her son’s call. During the fourth day of the retreat, we were asked to contemplate the Annunciation scene, the calling of Mary. And I would always remember how consoling and inspiring to ask for her intercession that I might have the same courage and trust to say ‘yes’ to God’s invitation.

Today, dear friends, I would like to share with you my reflection about Mary as our model and guide in our life of discernment.

I personally admire Mary because of her simplicity. She perfectly fits the gospel’s description of having a child like faith. The day when she was visited by the angel, she gave her unconditional yes to God’s call to be the Mother of God. This is amidst the fear and uncertainty Mary must have felt in which the angel also sensed so that he told her, “Do not be afraid”. Mary, with great faith and trust surrendered herself to the Lord’s plan. It is clear to Mary that she is a handmaid, a servant of the Lord. In today’s gospel Mary provides for us a perfect model of how to be a real servant of the Lord.

First, a servant of the Lord is a cheerful giver and is pleased to serve the Lord. The Magnificat, is a song of thanksgiving. It is a song, filled with so much gladness and gratitude for the Lord who works wonders for his people. It is a great privilege that one cannot but respond with gladness to be used as an instrument of God. Though we know, that to be a servant of God won’t be easy, that poses a lot of challenges.

Once I asked Bro. Joel, my director in Haggerty House last year, how he personally feel about his life as a Jesuit. He answered me plainly that it is a happy life. Not that, it is hassle free or there are no dull moments, but it is generally happy life. He also said that a lot of people think that religious life means, giving up or sacrificing a lot of things. It is true, but if one is truly called by the Lord, one will be truly happy to where the Lord calls him/her. Mary knows this by heart. When she responded to God’s call, she was filled with gladness and joy to serve the Lord.

Secondly, a true servant of the Lord doesn’t remain to one’s self but shares this gift to others. Mary was pregnant herself when she visited Elizabeth. It was not convenient for her to travel the lonely, dangerous road from Galilee to the hills of Judea. Take note that Judea is about 90 miles from Nazareth. Would she have walked or ridden a donkey? We don’t know. But according to my research, it is definitely a journey along lands of hills and valleys studded with many, many rocks. So if she journeyed an average of 8-10 miles a day, where talking about 9-10 days of journey here…in the state of pregnancy. But this never prevented Mary to serve her cousin in the time of here need. Mary exemplifies that a true servant of God is being led to the service of others.

As we continue our discernment here in Arvisu House, let us look up to Mary as our model and inspiration. Let us ask ourselves, is our life of discernment here in Arvisu House leads us to a deeper relationship and trust to God? Does it fill us with gratitude, gladness and joy? Does it lead us to greater love and service for others through our apostolate and community? Let us continue to ask for the special intercession of the Holy Mother to guide us in our discernment journey. Let us all pray that we may be able to imitate her child like faith, simplicity and trust in God. That like Mary, we may all be able to serve the Lord in joy and gladness in our service to Him and to our brothers and sisters. Amen.

On Power

Silent Steps — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 07:08:15 +0000

Shared last 08 August 2009 | Saturday
Arvisu House Jesuit Prenovitiate

Good morning friends.

In today’s gospel, we hear one of Jesus’ many healing stories. An epileptic boy was brought to Jesus to be healed. During Jesus’ time, epilepsy was attributed to evil forces and could mean a punishment for sin. Unfortunately, the disciples saw that they were powerless over the boy, and so the father came to Jesus to ask for his intervention.

Perhaps the disciples were left wondering, what went wrong – what was the problem? If we go back to the previous chapter of Matthew [10:1] we can see that Christ has given them “the power” to heal the sick, to bring the dead back to life, to cleanse the lepers and drive out demons. Perhaps, they were also wondering if this incident suggest that the ‘power’ bestowed upon them have essential limitations.

Jesus’ reaction to this confusion among the disciples is with a sound of exasperation… even calling them “unbelieving and perverse”. When asked why they cannot drive out the demon, Jesus straightforwardly answered them, “Because of your little faith! Amen, I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, “Move from here to there’, and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. ”

So what is this power all about? This, my friends, will be the main focus of my sharing this morning.

Today’s gospel reminds us that our faith comes with a grace, a power. The Lord provides such power and today, He still communicates this power that allows us to continue to promote His kingdom. It is the same power that allowed the first disciples to heal the sick, to bring the dead back to life, to cleanse the lepers and drive out demons. We may not experience it like how the first apostles did, but we know that this power persists in today’s world. It is the same power that gives us strength and hope. It is the same power that unites us, gives us the peace and love that sustains our faith.

In the first reading we heard how everything is given and provided for the people of Israel. It was narrated that they were given a land with large cities they did not build, houses full of goods of all sorts that they did not garner, vineyards and olive groves they did not plant, etc. Everything was gift from the Lord. It is a ‘power’ given to them to establish their own nation. But they were reminded too that they should not forget the Lord…to love him with all their heart, soul and strength. They were reminded to keep their faith to the Lord who provided them all these blessings.

This reminder is a reminder for all of us too. We need to be reminded because, more often than not, it is easy for us to recognize the gift but not the giver. A lot of times we get too comfortable when the graces – and the power that comes along with it are given to us, freely. In the case of the disciples, they recognize the power Christ has given them, but not the source of it – Jesus himself. Jesus’ presence should have been a great reminder for them, and yet they did not understand.

Early this year, I had the chance to visit the missions in Cabanglasan, Bukidnon, together with Fr. Jason Dy, who was still a deacon that time. Together, we took an old-school provincial bus, jam-packed with people, bringing all kinds of goods and stuffs as we trail along the bumpy road of the mountainous Cabanglasan. And we talked about a lot of things, about arts, horror movies, community life and of course his Jesuit vocation.

I remember we were talking about the many challenges a Jesuit faces, especially one who is about to be ordained as priest. According to him there is a certain ‘power’ that comes with the grace of ministry. In the Filipino culture, priests were given the special seats, given the best food, the best accommodations etc. And there is a certain power into it…the power to influence and the power to acquire the many privileges that comes with it. The danger is that it might become an inordinate attachment. Baka masanay at hanap-hanapin, he said. For St. Ignatius, inordinate attachments are attachments that get along the way of what’s most important thing in life – that is, to serve the Lord. Thus it may prevent a Jesuit to effectively do his work or mission. It may tarnish the real essence of the priesthood – to serve the people of God and not one’s self. While listening to Fr. Jason, I realized that indeed it is true, even in my own experience even as a prenovice [i.e. receiving special treatment] in Cagayan de Oro and I’m not even a Jesuit yet!

There is something about ‘power’ that is attractive to the eyes of men. Evidence to this is our politicians. Most of them are clinging to the many pleasures power has to offer. That is why they hold on to it with their dear life, like you-know-who. In our daily lives, in one way or another, don’t we sometimes catch ourselves wanting to be in control or to be in authority or just to have things our own way? Don’t we sometimes wish that life may be better if everything is under our command? Some claim that it is human nature to be attracted to power. It is as if an unavoidable magnet towards self preservation as Darwin’s theory of evolution affirms that only the fittest – the strongest survive. In my own experience here in Arvisu House as the beadle, I admit I’ve been caught in such situations. My challenge would that be of checking my motivations when it comes to exercising my ‘powers’. Was it a valid concern for the community? Or is it just plainly power-tripping? Am I only serving my own interest, my preferences or way proceeding? Am I really serving the community or myself?

Our challenge as a follower of Christ is to use our power in the light faith. To use power in the light of faith means being aware of the very source of the power, and to realize that this power is only a gift. It would be meaningless and impotent without this in mind. It is one to realize that this power is deeply rooted in faith, thus can only be used effectively if one has real faith.

And today, I would like to share two exemplary people who hold true to this call of using their ‘power’ in the light of faith.

First is the late president Cory Aquino, the symbol of democracy in this country. The people entrusted to her the highest power in this country even if before taking office she was a plain house wife. But Cory never used this power to serve her personal interest, nor believed that this power as coming from her own efforts. She used the power entrusted to her by the people, because it was a response to a ‘call’ to serve. Her response is deeply rooted with her strong faith in God and the Filipino people. And indeed, the Filipino people saw through her. And so today we honored and loved her, until death. She used her power in the light of faith.

Another is Fr. Pedro Arrupe 28th Superior General of the Society of Jesus. He was entrusted the great power to lead the Society of Jesus. Fr. Arrupe led the Society of Jesus during one of the most trying times. It was after many reforms of the Second Vatican Council responding to the needs of the contemporary world. He led the Society of Jesus during the GC 32 where the service of faith and promotion of justice was given much emphasis, re-defining the ‘Jesuit mission’ .This defined all the Jesuits’ works to essentially focus on the promotion of justice as well as Catholic faith. This was a bold move by the Society and stirred many debates and controversy, inside the Society itself, the church and the outside world. But Fr. Arrupe, together with thousands of Jesuits entrusted to him used his ‘power’ to do whatever needs to be done and to face all the hurdles against it.

One of his last words before he died in 1991, for me, encapsulated this great faith of his.

“More than ever I find myself in the hands of God. This is what I have wanted all my life from my youth. But now, there is a difference; the initiative is entirely with God. It is indeed a profound spiritual experience to know and feel myself so totally in God’s hands”.
For me, what’s remarkable about this great man is not the many great things he has done as the Jesuit chief, but because of his great faith. At the end of his life, Fr. Arrupe realizes that his greatest achievement is not the things that he was able to do or accomplish through his power, but to be totally in God’s hands. He used his power in the light of faith.

Dear friends, today we are all invited to asses ourselves, how do we respond to the many graces – the power our faith provides for us?

In my own experience, Arvisu House allows us to get in touch not only of our brokenness and unworthiness, but also of our giftedness, the many graces and blessing the Lord has given us. We are led to a deeper relationship with the Lord and along with it the realization of the power of faith that is in us. This ‘power’ has been the source of my strength from the very beginning, when I decided to say yes to God’s invitation for me to take the Arvisu House challenge. But everyday when I come to the lord in prayer, more and more realize too the fragility and poverty of my own faith. In my continuous discernment, I realized I cannot trust my own power and strength. I am totally depended on God alone.

Dear friends as the Lord through the formation we receive here in Arvisu House lead us to our own strengths and potentials and the many graces our faith brings…may we always reminded and led to of the source of it all. To use whatever graces, talents, blessings, and opportunities…powers we have, in the light of faith. To realize that without Christ, we can do nothing.

Amen.

Photo, Lapoc Chapel, Miarayon, Bukidnon

On Being Truthful

Silent Steps — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 02:57:19 +0000

Reflection on
Mt. 5:33-37

Today’s Gospel tells us about Jesus’ teaching about oaths. He explained to them that an oath does not guarantee truthfulness and challenged them as Bro. Chester fittingly puts it, to say what they mean and mean what they say. Jesus tackles this human tendency of veering away from the truth. As I reflect over this reading, I realized that indeed there is something about being truthful that is scary.

It is scary because, too often, when we encounter the truth of the matter, one is being led to admit, to be transparent and to be vulnerable. To do such would also mean one must endure, to bear and to face the consequences of having to embrace the truth. And we know that this is never easy. Indeed, unmasking the truth can be a very painful experience.

The truth, a lot of times can also become a ‘threat’ to us and to others. We hear of Jun Lozada, in his advocacy to tell the truth puts him and the people around him, like his family, on the brink of more troubles. Likewise, we find it a threat that people around us may find us not being truthful. We are afraid to be tagged [in Tagalog slang] as being ‘plastic’ or ‘Orocan’ or ‘fake’. Then of course, there is always this tendency to alter the ‘truth’ to fit our own needs and image. When we try to project an image that is not truthful to whom we really are. This is scary because we might lose our own identity along the way.

The truth is scary because, it compels us to do what needs to be done. A lot of times, it is much easier to just let things remain as they are. It is easier just to play safe, or, to just pretend that we are in control of whatever unfreedom we gained from the untruths of our lives. It brings to me the image of a broken arm. If you won’t touch or do something about it, it may not give you pain. But you know the truth that it needed a fix and the process will be painful. In facing the truth, we must take the risk to act on whatever hinders us from it. But amidst all of these fears, deep inside us we know that we are constantly in need of knowing the truth. In the same way, we all have an innate yearning to embrace the realities of our lives.

In my own experience of discernment, I realized how significant it is to be truthful to myself and how I feel about things. I realized how important it is to be always open and truthful to my spiritual directors in order for them to help me better in my discernment. Most importantly, I realized how significant it is to be truthful to my God.

To be open and truthful to God demands greater trust, hope and love in Him. Over the years I realized that the openness and truthfulness are indications of a deepening of my relationship with Him. To be truthful before God, led me to a more intimate and personal relationship with Him. To be truthful to God means to be courageous – courageous enough to embrace the realities of life, even the most painful, shameful, unacceptable and broken part of it. To be truthful before God means to become vulnerable to his love and vulnerable enough to let Him enlighten the untruths of our lives. Then we realize our intrinsic need and thirst of the truth can only be quenched by the Source of the Truth Himself – Him who said, I am the truth, the Way and the Life.

As we continue our journey here in Arvisu House, we ask the Lord for the grace of courage to face and embrace the truths of our lives. May all of us be led to greater trust and love of God, the Lord of truth, the only one who can truly set us free. Amen.

Para sa mga katoto sa Bahay Arvisu
Saturday June 13, 2009